Leaving Your Abuser? Three Tips To Keep Safe


When a woman decides to finally leave her abusive husband, she may feel she will be safer, but in actuality, she now faces a 75% increased chance of being killed by her abuser. It can be a very dangerous time for the victim, as the abuser tries desperately to maintain control. Here are some tips to help keep yourself safe once you have left.

Secure Order of Protection

If you haven't already, get an immediate restraining order. This will make it illegal for him to come near you or physically harm or harass you. It can also include information pertaining to finances and any children that resulted from the relationship. Your attorney as well as domestic abuse advocates can help you file the correct papers.

Keep a copy of your restraining order with you constantly. Keep a copy in your vehicle, give one to your employer, and if your children are older, give them a copy as well. You may want to give other family members and close friends a copy as well. Report and document every violation of the restraining order. This will help your case when it goes before the judge.

While a restraining order is an important part of your legal protection, it is, after all, only a piece of paper. Depending on the severity of your situation, the abuser may become even more enraged at your attempts to control him, so you will need to take additional steps to protect yourself.

For more information about your legal protection options, contact a professional such as Timothy L Hitchings.

Mix It Up

One of the best ways to keep the advantage is by changing your routine.

  • Stop going to the gym or other venues at the same time every day.
  • Alter the route you take to work or the children's school.
  • If possible, transfer the children to a new school.
  • Let your employer know the situation, and change your work schedule or move to a different branch.  
  • Shop at a different grocery store.

Rearranging your life may seem like a hassle, but if your routines aren't predictable, your abuser won't have easy access to you.

Upgrade Security

If you will be staying in the marital home, get all of the locks changed immediately. Other ideas include:

  • Get sturdy metal doors installed.
  • Check to be sure all of the windows are locked.
  • Install motion detector lights outside. 
  • If you can afford one, install a security alarm.

Lastly, while you may feel embarrassed, let your neighbors know the situation. They can help be your eyes and ears and let you or the authorities know if they see anything suspicious.


28 May 2015

planning for the struggles of kids and divorce

Are you going through a divorce? Do you have kids? If so, do you know how to handle the many struggles you will face when it comes to your kids? Even if you and your spouse can get through the divorce while agreeing on the custody arrangements, there will be struggles that you may not have planned for. For example, who will handle the educational, medical or other decisions about the kids? Is it something that you will decide together, or will one parent make the decision and the other one agree? My site contains several tips that can help you plan for the struggles you will go through in the future and make the situation a little easier for your entire family.